What I think

I have absolutely no desire to do anything for the holiday. The house is decorated but that's about it. I don't want to cook or bake. I will certainly not be going over board with making all the things I used to make. The kids don't eat it any way. I am even thinking about getting pre made pies. Yep, it is bad, no spirit at all.

Fall is not my favorite season. It is too damp and dark. But we do try to decorate for every season. I really like having a fireplace mantle to decorate. And one of these days I am even going to get someone out to look at the fireplace so we can use it.

My September goals were to read the New Testament and the Constitution. I started the New Testament but have only ready a few pages. I don't think I am doing that well with monthly goals and have not yet made any for October. I guess they will have to be finish the goals I have started.

I did pretty well this month doing Keto. I had a couple days where I failed miserably. I don't notice any physical changes. I think I will lean more towards Paleo. I will add in fruits. And keep dairy. But I can leave the processed sugar out for the most part, I think.

In August I decided I would try the Keto diet. So far so good. I am doing a combo keto and intermittent fasting. Not a good idea for most people but I realized this is how I used to eat when I was younger. I never ate til noon and it was mostly veggies and cheese. There are problems. I am up at 430 so that is a long time being awake and not eating. Also, in the summer, we rarely cook and I would never cook for myself so my diet is fairly limited. I think the calorie count is high because a lot of what I eat is high in calories. Weekends are hard because Bill wants to go have a burger or a drink so I have not been so good especially on Saturdays. but that is ok. Also the first few days I was pretty tired and weak but that is long gone. I try to remember to take a one a day vitamin. I have not noticed any difference in my size but I will decide at the end of the month if I want to continue eating this way.

hursday, August 1, 2019 July One of the things I wanted to get do this summer was clean the garage. We started on the first of July. It was a disaster, boxes and junk everywhere. All the boxes get opened and sorted and re stacked. The holiday stuff got put in the attic. One table has been cleared off. There is now a lot of open space. Still some boxes to stack and the desk to be cleaned off. The cupboards will have to be gone thru. So, on the last day of July the garage is well on its way to being usable space. Mostly for storing but we should be able to use the area for other things.

I love fireworks! I don't like the loud obnoxious ones. But the pretty sparkling ones are great. Reminds me of a friendlier time. It bothers me that there are laws against certain ones because they are the best ones. In the old days people had more common sense used them properly and only on the 4th. If they were only on the 4th it might be easier to deal with the skittish dog. If only people were more considerate and thought of others everyone could be happy, even in America.

Before Bill got sick we decided on paint for the rest of the house. So he bought 3 gallons. Now the paint in the can and the little bit they put on the can top looked like what I wanted. He started to paint this week and it looks nothing like whats in the can. The paint is not supposed to need to be primed but I think the original wall color is affecting the new color. But we bought it so now we have to use it.

So I have been hearing and reading about the 100 Day Challenge. You can join a group online. I would not do that. I don't know what I would want to commit to doing for 100 days. With my attention span I don't know what would keep me interested or motivated. I have already failed at the plank challenge and I never make New Year resolutions because I know I won't be able to stick with them. Maybe I will think about it but odds are I will forget about it and move on to something else.

Another day that I really do not want to leave the house to go to work. If I had to work full time I don't know what I would do. It could be the rain. Could be the drive.  It is time to do something different. What would that be? I have no current marketable skills. Having not having a real job for over 20 years. And I really want to do something at home or something that I really want to do. What that is I don't know.

Somehow whenever things go wrong around here I feel bad that I feel bad because other people have it so much worse.  We have had things go very wrong the last few months. Bill really sick and off work, the girls having work problems, taxes and this morning the van, which we have spent a lot of money on, decided it did not want to run. I should feel bad, annoyed and frustrated. But then I feel guilty because I can make the house payment and the insurance paid most of the medical bills and the girls will get the job situations sorted. And the van, who always has gotten us to where we need to be, will get fixed. I should not feel guilty because Bill works 2 jobs and we can not afford more than we have right now. I feel guilty.

Hank is so devoted to baseball that he changed his sleep pattern so that he would be sure to be up to watch 230 am games from Japan. He watched the start of the first game via a live stream from the Japanese tv station that was broadcasting it. And then this morning we were a little teary watching Ichiro leave the game for the last time. Who knew a game played by people you don't know could effect you so much. Now Hank thinks Ichiro should be a write in on the all star ballot.

We had to mow the lawn for the first time yesterday. The smell is wonderful. Maybe spring is on the way. Today all the weeds will be gone and the plants will be trimmed. Spring is a lot of work but so worth it.

So it is March already. The end of last year was not so good with Bill getting so sick. The beginning has not been so good with Bill still being sick. Callie having problems. Medical Bills to pay and Bill got a ticket. I have fallen twice, thank you flip flops, the last being the worst. But none of this is really that horrible and we are grateful for that.

We got snow. Nothing like the polar vortex. An inch and ice. It is pretty much gone now. But there was no school. You need at least one snow day a year. An unexpected day off. It is always a surprise and always so welcome. A day you were supposed to leave the house turns in to a day with nothing planned. It is wonderful.

I remember growing up staying with grandma in the summer and watching her programs. She would do chores all morning have lunch then turn on the tv. She would watch soaps until 3 the tv would go off and then dinner was made. Now, when I am home, I try to watch the only soap that is still on that I remember her watching. General Hospital. Generally, I forget, even if I am home.

The shower. Why is it so hard to get out of the shower? Is it because the bathroom is never as warm as you think it will be or because once you are out of the shower you actually have to get ready and face the rest of the day?

I have been carefully keeping track of calories this year. The problem is; there are days that are too long and so I fill them with mindless eating. It is not good and I know what I am doing. I could add more to my to do list but then I would fail at that as well. I could sleep in and that would shorten the day but I do like getting up in the quiet of the very early morning.

So our obnoxious little Finny left us today. She was 10, old for her breed and size. There have been many tears and we are going to miss her terribly. I often wonder why we put ourselves thru the loose of a pet. They are never easy and always way too soon.

I don't even make an excuse for not writing. I just don't do it. And as much as I wan't to I have nothing to say. Sometimes I think of something and I have been trying to write it down. Maybe it will turn in to something. Keeping a journal is not a thing I have ever done. I have been keeping the habit tracker up. Hank has started his. Will it last? Probably not for either us.

I read somewhere about the 30 day plank challenge. They should different ways to do a plank. Some of them I am pretty sure I won't be able to do but I might try. And so I think I am going to do it. I am going to try and do at least a minute several times a day,

In the past 5 - 6 weeks. I have eaten nothing but junk. One day I ate from the hospital vending machine. Yesterday, it was cookies all day. Store bought cookies. I have cooked maybe 3 decent meals and those were for holidays. I should cook and bake more and eat real food. But will I?

I have decided to use a habit tracker. I just printed one from somewhere online and made a list of things I wanted to do. I am sure there are other things I should do during the day but I havent thought of those yet. I am also going to try and get Hank to use one too.